A Letter to the Hero

Being a person who is the life of the party is always a blast.
Being a person who is everyone’s go-to for trauma dumping is flattering.
Being a person everyone calls for emergencies is commendable.

But who’s the hero’s hero? (Besides their grandpa?)
Who’s comforting them? (Besides their cat?)
Who’s rescuing them? (Besides 911? But even they pick & choose)

The definition for hero is:
“a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.”


What if they’re only courageous because they HAD to be?
What if their success comes from a source of needing to prove everyone wrong versus joy?
What if we took the time to learn what makes the hero a hero?

Does the hero even want to be a hero?

Being a person who is the life of the party is always a blast, until no one’s the life of yours.
Being a person who is everyone’s go-to for trauma dumping is flattering, until no one can handle yours.
Being a person everyone calls for emergencies is commendable, until you have no 911.
Being everyone’s hero is admirable – until the hero needs a hero.

Instead of unwillingly putting them on a pedestal – surprised when they may have a moment of softness, why don’t we understand they are human beings with a heart and a brain that processes the inevitable events of life just the same as everyone else?

Instead of saying, “I knew it was too good to be true,” when they express any other emotion other than joy, maybe remind yourself that regardless of how well you carry the weight, it’s still heavy. Even for hero’s.

Instead of placing constant expectations on a person who is exerting energy serving everyone else in this lifetime besides themselves – why don’t we ever offer support?

Hero’s are built – not born.
Hero’s have depth to be explored.
Hero’s have experiences to be told.
Hero’s have feelings to be felt.
Hero’s have lots of love to be dealt.

A hero that is unable to freely express their lows just as much as their highs is an unsupported hero.
How is that sustainable in a life that’s emotionally abusive? It’s not.

It builds an empty hero.

They deserve love in return – not judgement when their perceived pedestal doesn’t go as high as you’d like.
A hero for all, is not a hero for self. Without being a hero to self, there is no hero at all.

If you’re an unsupported hero, I feel you. I hear you. I see you. I admire you. You are not alone.

Just thoughts in my mind.
Thanks for reading.
xx, Mal

A poem by @ryanistyping

Elm Tree
I’m the kind that burns itself
hollows out
to make room
a home for others
a refuge for beings
in return, wasted emotion
the things they leave out
are the things I need the most

alive or dead
my heart will host
but these scars
neither heal nor deepen
maybe that is why I can’t feel anything
if I’m not sheltering others
science says hollow trees are valuable for wildlife
perhaps, I’m valuable too
just like this, carved out yet gentle

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