I think one of the coolest things about moving away from my hometown was I had the opportunity to create and find who I am, without preconceived notions of who I was while growing up.
It’s proven our environments and the people who surround us influence our lives subconsciously. No matter how aware we are of ourselves, we are naturally adapting to what’s around us. When you’re living in the same community your entire childhood, you’re bound to gain a reputation from others, and define yourself as who you think you are – its inevitable.
It’s beautiful we can share moments with other people and store them away in our memory to help us paint a picture of who that person is. I think it’s extremely beneficial to learning someones character. Whether you witness someone hit the winning shot in a tight basketball game, listen to someone give a chill-arousing speech, or see someone survive a devastating car crash, you feel that emotion and correlate it with that person and how you perceive them – as that person does to themselves as well.
But our lives are built off of these emotional moments. And these moments are built off of our environments and who we are surrounded by. So when we are limiting ourselves to who and what the world has to offer, we are only depriving ourselves from learning the depth of who we are.
This is why I highly recommend moving away from your hometown, even if it’s for a short period of time, just for a little taste of what you didn’t already know life has to offer, and what you have to offer for yourself. Plus, there’s so many places to choose from in terms of where we go on this planet… why not explore our options?!
When I first moved from lil ole Wood River, I only went about 2.5 hours away to college. I was just a hop, skip, and a jump away. (lol I feel like my Granny saying that). But it wasn’t hard for me to get home, I was still in my home state, and there was a sense of comfort knowing that. However, I was still in a completely new environment surrounded by strangers who knew NOTHING about me. It was liberating. I was able to gain an understanding of the persona I put off to those who didn’t know my entire life, or have an opinion of me based off of what other people told them. Because let’s be honest, all people do in the 618 is talk. So to go from everyone knowing every little thing about me, and vice versa, to knowing nothing at all was enticing, a little nerve-racking, but mostly freeing.
It took about 2 years for me to really get comfortable at college, but once I did it was game on. I built strong relationships, I knew which direction I was going in with classes, and I had just moved in to my first apartment with my best friends. But before I got to that point I went through a period where I struggled with my spirituality and feeling like I needed a definite answer to what I believe this life is all about. I had a romantic relationship that really shook things up and taught me a lot of lessons the hard way. I also turned 21 – I started drinking with my friends, stopped taking care of my body, and stopped worrying about being at my A game at every little thing I do – things I didn’t do before.
Once I got past some of the bigger challenges after moving, I subconsciously proved to myself I can do whatever I put my mind to. I conquered a lifelong goal of always wanting my own show (Mid-Night with Mallory), I ran a magazine, got an internship in my freaking dream state and industry that lead into me finding a career path, ALL while working to pay my bills… I did all of that, after I spent so much time doubting if I was even going in the right direction. So then, I was like, “let me move to LA and see what this stirs up.”
And I thought college was hard… haha. Adult life is another beast, no matter where you’re living. Fast forward to now, I’ve been in LA for 2 years. The first year was the hardest, all of the distractions I had in college that allowed me not to care, weren’t there anymore. So now I was alone in my head with everything I was questioning. And outside of my own emotional uncertainties, life threw dodgeballs I couldn’t miss if I tried. I caught someone recording me while I was showering in MY OWN APARTMENT. I was driving behind one of my best friends (who felt like my only friend at the time) when he nearly lost his life in a motorcycle accident the same day that we found out his landlord (who he lived with and was dear to our hearts) died in an unexpected hiking accident. I struggled with finding full-time employment, and then when I did, I was laid off 2.5 months later. It was really sweet. Fantastic. Just dandy lol.
Within all of these moments, I learned how I respond to life’s blind attacks. I gained more awareness of my emotions and how I react when something sudden takes place – whether it’s passion and excitement, or irrationality, anger, and sadness. I better understand how I give love and that what I thought would work for me, doesn’t. I started recognizing random things that make me inexplicably happy are actually memories of an emotion I felt when I was younger, and correlating my childhood with my adulthood is really comforting. I’ve been away from home for 5.5 years now… that’s crazy to believe. Holy crap. Very bittersweet. As I’ve been away from home longer, smaller memories that I used to think about often aren’t easily accessible from my memory box simply because I’m not around the environment that constantly reminds me of those moments. So when something triggers a memory of home, it warms my heart like you could never imagine.
Home will always be home. It gave me the foundation of who I am and I will forever be proud of that. Do I miss it? Always. But I know outside of our small, tight knit community, there’s a lot more to seek and evolve from – and I think everyone should give themselves the chance to experience something outside of corn fields, out-dated perceptions and opinions on the world, and outside of yourself. Especially if you feel the urge to leave, you should. If you don’t have people encouraging you to do so, encourage yourself. You’re strong enough to do so if you want it badly enough.
Many people aren’t dealt a good deck of cards in life and that you can’t control. But, you can control how you play the game with what you’re dealt.
This was by no means to dog on my hometown. Hood River will always be so special to me and every time I come back I am reminded why I love and miss it so much, but I am also reminded that I left for wanting to evolve into the best version of myself possible. After 5.5 years of just trying to figure it out, I can say I have clarity in a lot of aspects of my life that I’ve been questioning for so long. It just took me on a bumpy ride at first.
Thank you for reading.
Xoxo, Mallory ❤
Inside Mallory's Brain 