Happy One Year, LA.

As clichè as it is, starting a New Year has always been refreshing to me. I enjoy the idea of a fresh start. Setting new goals. Tiddy-ing life up a bit by gathering the lessons you’ve learned and packing them up for the years to come. Re-assessing aspects of life that seem to be missing something. Weeding out what’s boggling you down, and finding solutions to areas that are stagnant. Starting a New Year with a fresh mindset. Attacking it with newly grown ambition. Clearing away anything that was in the way. That’s why I love coming into a New Year. That’s why I love celebrating the New Year.

This New Year specifically hit me a tad bit different. I think every New Year will now hit me a bit differently. A year ago I left the green, luscious Mid-West. I left my family. I left my friends. I left my cats. I left everything that was familiar to me. I left 22 years of my life to, “see what happens,” in LA. 

2018 was by far the hardest year of my life. A year ago I couldn’t get people to interview me. I felt as if I had no one to rely on out here.  I was – for lack of better words – “throwing away” a huge chunk of my savings to aim for a lifestyle that many see as preposterous. I had nothing to hold on to. I was drowning in a pool of sharks. 

2019 is going to be absolutely stunning. I’m working full-time on films and TV shows I would’ve DREAMT of being apart of. I have a handful of local, sincere people I can call to put me in check when I decide to go off the deep end a little bit. I have a lot to look forward to. And now that I’ve learned the streams and trenches a bit, I’m not drowning with the sharks, I’m swimming with integrity with them.

The best part about the transition and welcoming the reflection of the year, was the ending of 2018. I spent the last part of the year with the best people in my life. Thanksgiving and Christmas was spent with people who bring out the best in me. People who bring a good energy that makes you come to life a little bit more when they’re around. People who ground you and make you remember why life is worth living and why striving for your best potential is worth any pain.  

My year reflecting started a tad bit early because of these people, which I am very grateful for. It began around Thanksgiving, giving me the entire month of December to analyze where I’ve been, where I am, and where I want to go. There are a few distinct moments that really made me stop and think, and brought an overwhelming sense of comfort that I think has made the reflecting so much more sweet. 

During my time at home I would go to the gym at night with my two life-long best friends. Some nights we sat on the exercise balls and talked for hours. This resulted in us crying because the past year was just heeeaaaavvvvvyyyy. This also resulted in us laughing so hard that we’re crying because one of us would push the other off of their exercise ball and we’d all get extremely loud and then have to remind each other we were still in public. I live for these nights. With people who just get it. 

One of these gym nights I ran into a friend from high school in the locker room. (We were never personally friends but we knew of each other. But let’s be honest here, the 618 is so small, we’re all friends whether you like it or not). We stood there and had a great conversation letting each other in our lives a bit more. Towards the end of the conversation she encouraged me to keep pushing because, ‘I’m the one that got away.’ Clichè again, I know. But I was already emotional enough after crying on my exercise ball, so getting a little reminder that people are rooting for me just really set my tear glands through the roof. 

This locker room encounter, along with many other quick catch-ups, grounded me. It took me back to high school and made me remember who I am, and what I want to do. It made me remember why this past year was worth it. 2018 was reckless. It was a plane ride with non-stop turbulence. It was hard. It was far from graceful. It was challenging. Insightful. Confusing. It worked in ways that threw me in a whirlwind. It introduced me to anxiety, depression, loneliness, and stress. And because of that, it taught me how to take control of my mind and cope in healthy ways. It was transforming. 

Through all of 2018’s pain, it taught me to never give up. It taught me to stay on my toes. To keep challenging my comfort zone. 2018 taught me to appreciate the little things a bit more. Whether it’s a random conversation with an old friend, a little pick-me-up matcha from my mom, or someone reading my blog, the little things have big affects. 

2019 will be exhilarating. It will be a mountain climb with a few slips here and there, but I have my climbing rope prepared for any falls. I will make it to the top of 2019’s mountain, because if I can conquer 2018, then I can conquer anything. I’m extremely proud to say that the me from a year ago would be proud of who I am, what I’m doing, and how I coped with this past year. Year ago me is PUMPED for present me to meet next year’s me, but we aren’t rushing that. 

To anyone reading this who is struggling with adulthood, chasing your dreams or just simply getting a grasp on life, you’re not alone. Life is tough, but the beauty of it is that we’re all attempting to figure it out. People are beneficial and necessary to get through life. Open yourself up to enhancing relationships, being vulnerable and letting people in. Whether it’s a best friend, a pen pal, or a family member. Human interaction is important to keep yourself grounded. I will be one of those people for you. Never hesitate to have a conversation.

To everyone I saw and talked to while I was in the Mid-West, it was an honor. You all flood some of the best memories back to mind. You remind me how much I love the good ole Hood River and everyone there. You remind me what home feels like. But you best believe there’s no way in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks I’m moving back there. Especially after they had some nerve to destroy my beautiful Aquatic Center… I’M UPSET *Drake’s voice*. 

To all of my close friends and family, thank you for your unconditional support, cooperation, patience, guidance, and love. I wouldn’t be able to do it without you. 

Happy 2019. Happy One Year, LA. 

Thanks for reading ❤ 

-Mallory-

 

P.S. This is my new Aquatic Center.