You know how sometimes you judge someone else’s situation simply because you’ve been through your own things in life that their complaint just doesn’t quite level with? And you kind of question how someone can be so ungrateful for the situation they’re in because it could be A LOT worse?
Well what if that hurt you’re comparing to someone else’s ends up being less than to someone else? – Their situation tops yours? – Are you going to empathize then because their hurt “one-upped” yours? Since when did becoming the victim be a competition?
Hurt is hurt. We all feel it no matter how big or small that situation.
I was listening to Jay Shetty’s Podcast, On Purpose, with guest Jada Pinkett-Smith and she was talking about how there’s this other side of ego that has to feel the most hurt. And it makes sense because ego in general needs to “be the most” everything. But there’s the side of ego that we don’t talk about too often – an ego more on the insidious side. It affects you from empathizing with others, it makes you a constant victim, and it takes away the effortless love that could be there for someone simply because you are listening to their situation.
When it comes to killing that ego we have to remember hurt is hurt so we can empathize and learn from one another. Life isn’t a game of who’s got it worse, because we all have something going on in some capacity. Life is about being there for one another and making the best of it to overcome the challenges that bring the hurt – because they only make us stronger.
When I was listening to this podcast I was really disappointed in myself because I related so much to it. There was a point in my life recently where I only felt bad for myself because of the circumstances I was in… and when I look back at those moments now, they were so minute in the grand scheme of things and I hope I didn’t neglect anyone I care about because I was so wrapped up in feeling bad for myself that I didn’t recognize someone else’s hurt.
One of the biggest things I live by is we are all one – no matter the circumstance.
But I lost that for a minute. I feel like this past year has brought up a lot of epiphanies that relate to thought processes I had when I was a kid and I now understand when adults would always say, “keep that mindset,” and encourage to not let adulthood cloud my judgement on what really matters. It’s because life throws so much at us so quickly when we first enter adulthood and we go into flight or fight mode. We get a lot of wounds that we don’t fully recover from because right when we felt like we got back on our feet, BOOM, the next bomb lands and we have to start dealing with that.
It’s one thing after another.
I think Jada really made a great point in this podcast because she said once she realized this is just what life is, she was able to realize she just had to adjust and navigate through it to not become victim of it.
That hit home with me. I appreciated her sharing that.
People go through unthinkable things. It could always be worse. We are blessed in so many ways that we sometimes put a blind eye to because we are distracted by the unfortunates. Our blessings deserve more attention.
On that note – I’m fully equipped to being in the mid-twenties now. Thanks for reading.
xx, Mallory
Inside Mallory's Brain 