Ethereal Love

I expect love to always feel like love with the person I end up with. Is this a flaw?

Is it unrealistic to have the expectation that someone can continue to give me butterflies after the honeymoon phase? Am I being way too optimistic that someone who makes my heart feel abundantly whole for the rest of my life exists? Am I out of my mind?

I’m seriously curious, because the love that I have been dreaming of my entire life doesn’t seem to to exist from what everyone says, and what I see around me. But can it be different?

I see a lot of settling. I see a lot of toxicity. I see a lot of boredom. I see a lot of greed. I see a lot of people forcing themself to want to be with a person because of reasons outside of the fact that they are madly in love with them. I’m not talking about just loving someone. I’m talking about knowing that person is your soulmate on a level that you just can’t describe to anyone, but we can all see it.

Like… we can all tell when both parties involved truly love one another or not lol.

Am I crazy for thinking someone who takes my breath away in every aspect of their character, their being, and their existence truly exists?

I’m wondering because I’ve joined this 21 Days of Abundance Challenge (it’s been super cool) and the task for today was to write down 5 of our shortcomings that we feel limit us. One of mine was that I expect love to always feel like love with the person I end up with. Then I wondered if that was a flaw? Because my entire life I’ve told myself that someone who is so naturally magically in balance with me will come into my life when the time is right.

WELL HELLO. I’M HERE AND IM READY FOR YOU. SO WHERE ARE YOU AT?! Ya know?? Like… yeah… I want love, too!! Not anytime soon… I have a lot of work to do so I can gain Michael B. Jordan’s respect and then we because friends and end up falling in love with each other —- anyway…

I questioned if my expectations of what love is and what I want in my life partner are to the point where it’s unrealistic, and truthfully after thinking about it all day – It has to be, because honestly I’ve talked this up for myself for so long that I have no other choice for it to exist. Plus, I feel like I’m naturally a big dreamer… but still a realistic dreamer. And I mean come on, if you shoot for the next galaxy you’ll at least land somewhere in the stars ya know? Might as well!! I’m trying to have the best time of my life when I find my person… I’m trying to like the person I’m with!! I’m trying to have that Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade love. That Mark and Missy Maendele love. That Mary and Pete Kaepplinger love. Tara and Mikie Hall love. That Baby Fart and I love (but romantically with a human obviously). That undeniably, otherworldly intense love.

I think that’s the reason I’m scared of love. I want a special type of love I don’t see all of the time because it’s rare. The odds of finding ethereal love are slim, but if I don’t then that’d mean I’d be settling. I’m not going to lie, settling is my #1 fear with everything I do. But with love… that is the LAST thing I want to settle for. That’s on the TOP of the list. I’d rather settle in my career than settle with my life partner. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Settle. I. Would. Rather. Die. Sorry, that was dramatic… but also true. lol.

So, I won’t. Because I know it exists because of those people I just listed off. So, is it a flaw to believe that love should always feel like love with the person I choose to be with? Naaaah. I think I’ll find someone ethereal. I think we all deserve that.

Well, that’s what was in my head all day today. Thanks for reading.

xx, Mallory ❤

P.s. this had no connection with tomorrow being Valentine’s Day but… hey what a coincidence. Happy Valentine’s Day, lol.